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Back to Stephen Brookes Column Index



Hot Weather

By: Stephen Brookes MBE

Hot weather. Suddenly everyone is out moaning about how hot it is. We have this stupid obsession with hot weather and I found today quite exhausting, yet everyone else in Blackpool seemed to delight in being fried.

Everywhere are visitors who wear garments which leave little to the imagination. Now of course, any normal male will second look a lovely girl dressed in an attractive bikini, but these days most bikinis contain less material than a pair of shoes laces. This is sometimes beyond decency, particularly when surrounded by indecent tattoos, but then when the same style is worn by people who would do credit to a Rugby League front row. Well, I ask you……!!!

However, the most distasteful part of it all is going to the supermarket and having to stand alongside, or even worse behind old and very large people in skimpy shorts. I felt quite put off in Tesco on Saturday morning when I was choosing some cheese. I was surrounded by hairy-legged shoppers (some of them were even male) which made me feel quite queasy.

It's a supermarket for goodness sake, not a zoo. Surely our politicians would pick up a few extra votes next week if they promised to pass a law banning shorts and bikini tops from food stores? I can't imagine all this surplus hair and sunburn creme, never mind flesh, is terribly hygienic.

Okay, maybe I am being a bit tongue-in-cheek here, but I am amazed at the summer stuff owned by Blackpool visitors. We have a few sunny weekends per year and yet everyone produces huge wardrobes of exotic and undersized summer clothes. And, most amazingly of all, they suddenly drive about in open-top sports cars. Does everyone in the North West have an open-top locked away in the garage for special use on the two hot days of the year? It certainly seemed that way on Monday as I travelled to town from Cleveleys on the open top tram watching loads of the zippy little things around North Promenade. The new breed of yuppies and escorts (I use the word in its broadest sense here) are the latest visitor attraction here.

The thing is that I was in town at Blackpool Woolworth's buying garden compost, while nearly dressed teens were buying CD's or PC games to enjoy on their beach towels. A nice bit of rain would be a welcome change now, wouldn't it?

© Steve Brookes MBE
Copyright © - Stephen Brookes MBE 2002 - All rights reserved


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